It’s no secret Governor Perdue has been frantically searching for ways to trim the fat from state government. To lend a hand, I’d like to suggest a worthwhile, if modest, starting point: Larry Wheeler’s private army of Nazi art guards at the N.C. Museum of Art.
A recent visit – my first since its heraldic reopening last April – revealed Herr Wheeler spares no expense ensuring his darkly clad soldiers are stationed at every turn, ready to disarm or disable we hooligan rabble who, by all indications, are hell-bent on destroying the priceless articles he evidently regards as his own.
While in the new wing, I was often under the vigilant gaze of as many as three steely-eyed watchmen at any given moment. I’m an enthusiast for museums of all sorts, and never have I felt so unwelcome in one; continually under the oppressive cloud of suspicion, an intruder clearly not to be trusted. I remind Mr. Wheeler that the Third Reich seized Europe’s classic art caches with a possessive zeal not unlike NCMA’s gallery Gestapo presides over its prizes, presuming that the masses couldn’t possibly behave properly in the presence of treasured relics.
No doubt, the director will plead his case on the basis of liability. But I’d bet my week’s ration of camp gruel that his underwriter’s actuaries will testify that no security guard ever spared a museum one dollar’s loss due to accident or malice, much less lowered its risks.
The degree of taxpayer-financed waste behind this bloated security force suggests Mr. Wheeler’s fiscal priorities would benefit from the same scrutiny to which he subjects the public. Plus, he’d do us commoners an inestimable service by dialing back the protective paranoia. The artworks, after all, are not his personal property, and I’d venture a guess he and his minions are more likely than I to be careless with them, purely on account of their familiar proximity.
