Raleigh’s city council has been needlessly unimaginative confining the field of naming sponsors for our spiffy new amphitheater to one maker of a low-cal beer.
[For those who aren’t fully briefed, Anheuser-Busch has bellied up to the bar with $1.5 million to claim naming rights for the 5,000-seat facility in the heart of downtown, which makes its debut in June, tentatively as the Bud Light Amphitheater. (The jury is still out on that one, by the way, because it so happens it violates state ABC law.)]
Truly, the sky’s the limit when it comes to potential concessionary sales, as illustrated by these venue names:
The Kotex Maxitheater, for the gal-on-the-go who’s lost track of the days in her mad rush to claim a front-row seat.
Pfizer Viagritheater. After all, guys, you wanna be ready when the band starts in with Marvin’s moody, “Let’s Get It On.”
Preparation ampHitheater. (The seats there aren’t padded, you know.)
Trojan Prophylactitheater … because we should all do it responsibly.
And lastly, for our burgeoning senior population, the Depends Incontitheater, so you can drink Bud Light to your heart’s content and not miss a note of the show.
